i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize