my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
