I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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