oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and she was petting her beer can
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
