seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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