the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize