So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
