I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
