1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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