Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
