She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
