I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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