So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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