I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
