i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
