1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
