I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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