I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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