there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
