I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
