Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
