if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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