I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
