Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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