Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
