your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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