why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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