I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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