I got chris browned last night
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
