hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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