I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
