Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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