im six kinds of drunk right now
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
