As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
