I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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