Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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