I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
