how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
