She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
