I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
