google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
