So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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