I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
