You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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