does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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