I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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