Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
