I look better un-naked...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Randomize
