oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
