Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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