Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
