We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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