When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
