so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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