he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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