A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
