On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
