man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
