So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
