Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
