My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
