Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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