I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
