Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
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and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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