you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
